Golf Quotes, Golf Humor
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball -- Jack Lemmon
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies -- Will Rogers
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -- Phyllis Diller
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf -- Bob Hope
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness -- William Wordsworth
I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators -- Gerald Ford
Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the golf course. -- Billy Graham
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. -- P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome , 1922
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser. -- Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears. -- Bobby Jones
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. -- Arthur Daley
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. -- Paul Gallico
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt. -- Chi Chi Rodriguez
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf. -- Percey Boomer
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. -- Joe E. Lewis
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. -- Will Rogers
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina. -- H.L. Mencken
A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do. -- Osbert Sitwell
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. -- Author Unknown
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. -- P.J. O'Rourke
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. -- Tiger Woods
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? -- Al Boliska
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. -- G.K. Chesterton
Golf is a good walk spoiled. -- Mark Twain
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